Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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