as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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