after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
