I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
