If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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