I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
