you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
