I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
