What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can I color on your dick again?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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