My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
