he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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