Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I need water and some morals
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
