i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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