gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wish there were birth control emojis
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
