that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
