great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
