He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
