p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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