Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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