The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
