He disabled his match.com account in front of me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
