We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
