No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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