Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
