Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Randomize
