i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
