I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
