im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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