That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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