You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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