yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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