You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I could fuck to npr.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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