doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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