So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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