my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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