well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
