brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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