hell yes lets make some ravioli
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
