i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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