Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
