Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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