I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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