Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
