i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You were trust falling into bushes
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
