she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
we should paint friendship bongs
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