260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
