it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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