drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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