they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
