So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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